Many relationships fail due to different expectations held by each person. People may not realize that their expectations of each other could be based on false myths they have come to accept as true. Realizing this may result in some serious relationship questions.
Movies, books and music paint pictures of love that we accept as normal and even inspirational. But for the most part, these artistic representations of relationships are not rooted in reality.
The result is a set of common myths we learn while growing up and apply to our way of thinking. What we all need to realize is that these myths can actually be unhealthy and damaging.
If we can learn the truth behind the myths we believe, we can start looking at love and relationships in a more realistic way.
To help, let’s look at 5 common myths that need debunking.
1. A Perfect Relationship Means No Conflict
It’s extremely common for people to feel that if they have found true love, every day will be easy and seamless. However, every couple will face conflict throughout their lives, even when madly in love.
Being with someone takes constant work. A relationship requires direction, maintenance, and effort. Like anything else in life, there will be hurdles.
Some people feel that if their relationship becomes rocky, it wasn’t meant to be. Buying into this myth is a good way to give up on something that may just need a little work.
In fact, conflict provides a way to strengthen a relationship and improve the understanding a couple has for each other. Conflict often arises out of poor communication. Understanding this can provide a great chance for a couple to ask relationship questions and improve their communication skills.
Many times, a couple who never bickers may simply not care. Having little disagreements and fights is healthy. And they provide a chance to strengthen the relationship.
2. True Love Means Passion Never Dies
We don’t live in a fairy tale. But there is a traditional myth that finding true love means a life of never-ending passion and romance. Unfortunately, many people hold this myth up as fact and set themselves up for certain disappointment.
Modern life is full of stress and responsibility. Couples must fall into a routine into order to make a living together and sustain themselves. This can lead to a lack of excitement.
But this doesn’t mean that the love is gone. It just means that a little work may be needed in order to rejuvenate the passion. Most couples confront this problem and it shouldn’t be seen as a negative thing.
It’s important for a couple to set aside time for each other. This special time should be devoted to concentrating on the passion and fun that you know is already there. A couple will find that the passion was never gone, it just needed a little pick-me-up.
3. Having Children Will Save a Marriage
Many struggling couples feel that having a child will complete the family unit and result in a happier life. What they may not realize is that most couples start having more problems once the stress of raising a child is upon them. Having a child in hopes of repairing a relationship could be a recipe for disaster.
Bringing a child into the world is a life-changing experience. But the overwhelming feelings people have immediately following the birth of their child soon turns to stress and exhaustion.
It’s important for couples to realize this and ask relationship questions of themselves before considering having a baby. Bringing a child into the world in order to fix something could be detrimental to the relationship. It could also damage the emotional development of the child.
Having a baby should be done as a result of love, not to try to fix it.
4. Jealousy is a Sign of Love
Jealousy is a natural emotion and something every couple is likely to deal with over and over. But many people think jealousy is just a side-effect of being hopelessly in love. It turns out that it’s a sign of insecurity.
If a couple is experiencing frequent issues with jealousy, it may mean that one or both of them are unsure about the strength of the relationship. Relationship questions will need to be asked by each person to try to determine what’s wrong.
Some couples try to make each other jealous in order to hurt the other person or make themselves feel less vulnerable. This tactic usually backfires and a couple ends up fighting.
Being open about realistic expectations and expressing emotions in a healthy way is a much better alternative to jealousy. Love means respect and trust. Jealousy means a lack of trust.
5. A Soulmate Will Make You Complete
When we assume a soulmate will make us complete, we project unrealistic expectations onto that person. We form illusions that our soulmate will not always live up to. And when they don’t, it causes confusion and insecurity.
Nobody should have to live up to the expectation of completing another person. Expecting your spouse to complete you is selfish and a huge sign of insecurity.
The truth of the matter is, only we can make ourselves complete. A soulmate can push and inspire us to find direction and happiness, but it’s ultimately up to us.
Loving someone with strength and conviction and receiving the same kind of love in return is what we should strive for. Not the hope that another person being there will magically cause us to find ourselves.
Asking Yourself the Right Relationship Questions
The relationship myths that are ingrained in our minds can be dangerous. They cause us to assume things about love that may end up hurting us or our spouses. Instead, we need to view love as a realistic union that requires work and devotion.
If you find yourself having issues, ask yourself what you feel a relationship really is. It may be that you’re putting too much pressure on yourself and your spouse.